SUB-TOPIC: THE ROAD TO A BLISSFUL RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE.
THEME; HAVING EVERY POSSIBLE BEST IN EVERY MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP – PART 1.
MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE IN ALL, AND THE BED UNDEFILED: BUT WHOREMONGERS AND ADULTERERS, GOD WILL – Heb. 13:4
‘‘If you were to marry again, who would you marry? Your present spouse or another? And if you were to be given another opportunity to choose a career, given that you had the time, what career would you choose?
Whether these questions are answered or not, our attitude towards them reveal how supremely happy and truly successful or otherwise we have fared in life’’. (GIDEON I. ONYEDI)
I am introducing a series on this platform for every home. Every single. And every couple that is either into a marriage relationship or planning to get into one.
I promise to keep this column refreshed every Saturday where practical issues about marriage and relationship, sex, love, finding and knowing the right partner, Biblical stand on dating and friendship, courtship, traditional or court marriage, Christian marriage and wedding, separation, divorce, remarriage, finance, infidelity, depression, childlessness, interference, child training, culture, the family and society, goal-setting for the home, career choice for couples and children, location and relocation, etc will be comprehensively discussed from three perspectives: Christian faith perspective, cultural perspective, and legal perspective.
Today, on this first issue, we want to address two introductory questions. What is marriage? Who should marry and be married?
*****From the Biblical, cultural, and our own legal points, marriage is a lifetime conjugal union and relationship between a male and a female adults. The holy Bible declares: ‘It is not good that the man should be alone’ and the Lord God proceeded to create a partner, a female, a woman, of the feminine human species for him (emphasis considered very necessary). ( Genesis 2:18, 21-24.
The Word of God, the Bible, both in the Old Testament as highlighted above, and the New Testament, Matthew 19:4,5, states that ‘He who made them in the beginning made them male and female’. Not male and male. Not female and female.
This was Jesus speaking.
Marriage is meant to be between opposite sexes. Not otherwise. Anything other than the original Divine order is satanic, occultic, abominable, unnatural, ungodly, despicable, and irreconcilable with sanity.
The advocacy and impure practice of same-sex union (not marriage), is part of the new world order which is radically resuscitating and promoting the age-long Divinely judged and cursed sodomy, and is being promoted and perpetrated from the pit of hell to further defile God’s creation, challenge God’s ‘Almightiness’, Glory, and Sovereignty, and poke man’s stunted fingers into the unapproachable fiery eyes of God of heaven and earth. It is not just dangerous, it is eternally damning to the never-dying soul of man.
The world of human rights should also know that for every unbridled exercise of any human right, there is a hanging ultimate Divine right of judgment and eternal punishment. And it will surely come upon the finally unrepentant. But the love of God is still available for those who will turn around and embrace God through Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, and repent from sodomy and every known sin.
Having said that, we return to the issue of marriage. Our goal here is to partner with God and preserve God’s own order, and also preserve godly homes and families. With God on our side, we shall win this battle.
*****The second point here is that marriage is between a man and a woman. Not between a boy and a girl.
The Scriptures say: “Therefore shall a MAN leave his father and mother…….’. Before now, Adam had beholden Eve and said: “She shall be called a WOMAN….’
The Word of God has no place for child-marriage in the Holy Bible. Biblically speaking, a mature man should be able to LEAVE his parents, which presupposes independence and self-support, in order to be able to CLEAVE to a woman in a marriage relationship.
Most of the challenges and problems we encounter in marriages today stem from immaturity of the couples involved.
The question is: At what age should people be considered mature or old enough to get married?
There is no specific answer to this. No marriage counsellor or Pastor is qualified to peg an age bracket. However, we all know the age brackets that are considered as good enough to marry and be married.
To solve this problem, we go back to the Bible and some of our Scripturally compatible cultural practices and beliefs.
According to the Scriptures in focus, maturity is only when the following conditions are fulfilled:
- The individuals involved can be referred to and respectfully addressed as MAN and WOMAN by the standard of the society they belong to.
- When the man is old enough to leave the father and mother, and live significantly independent of them. Commonly, we understand this is mainly in areas of planning, finance, understanding, problem solving, caring, covering, and child-training and upbringing, etc. A man who always runs to his mother at every trying moment with his wife is still a boy. I met man, who was about 30 years old, who, when his wife had a baby, didn’t know what name to give his son. He called his own father to come and give his new born baby boy a name, and his father obliged him.
- When the man understands what it means, and can CLEAVE with the woman as his wife. This means a lot and is a strong test of maturity. Many mature men and women so called, do not understand what it means to CLEAVE. They, through their education can even tell you what every letter in the word ‘cleave’ could stand for, without truly knowing what that word actually means by practice.
There can be no CLEAVING with the wife, if there was no LEAVING of the parents.
Take note of this Decalogue of Cleaving in Marriage.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no secrecy.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no personal or private agenda within the union.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no self-management.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no betrayal.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no third party interference.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no neglect and loneliness.
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no alternative(s).
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no regret or nostalgic feeling for an ex-
- When there is CLEAVING, there will be no unforgivable faults or offences.
- And, finally, when there is CLEAVING there will be no separation and divorce. No putting asunder.
Maturity is very indispensable in having a successful marriage. It is beyond mere ageing (aging). It transcends academic knowledge. It is more that social enlightenment and civilization. It is understanding the original divine purpose of life, of marriage, and the overall essence of man and of union with a woman.
Thanks a million for being part of our audience this week. We shall come back on this platform in a fortnight with the topic. ‘GUIDED AND SURE STEPS TO FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOUR LIFE’
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